Гомер Симпсон признан самым великим ТВ героем. 50 лучших цитат Гомера ниже под катом.
читать дальшеMaybe, for once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding 'You're making a scene'.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
You couldn't fool anyone on the foolingest day of the year if you had an electrified fooling machine.
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does that do me?
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! [leaves the room, slamming the door, then pokes his head back in] Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Well, it's one a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
I thought I had an appetite for destruction... but all I really wanted was a club sandwich.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14 per cent of people know that.
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
What is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as, "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.
I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is - and it's me.
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.
Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay] Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You-are-gay.'
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
They didn't have any aspirin, so I got you some cigarettes.
I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?
Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman.
If at first you don't succeed, give up.
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02.06.2010 в 13:44-
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03.06.2010 в 14:06-
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01.09.2010 в 14:09-
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01.09.2010 в 14:13